Presents of Presence

This past week Ellie has reverted back to having trouble falling asleep at night.  I really, really think she’s teething now 😉  It’s taken up to an hour or so some nights for her to settle down with George and/or me singing to her, holding her hand, gently stroking her face and picking her up intermittently.  As has been the case, George has the best success lulling our baby girl to sleep.

With George working extra late due to weather-related outages, it was just Ellie and me one night.  After 30 minutes of hanging over the side of Ellie’s crib trying to soothe her, I picked her up.  Rather than lie her back down awake after a couple of minutes of swaying, I decided to keep holding her and sit down on the couch for a few minutes.  To my surprise she took to this and surrendered her head on to my shoulder.  

Anyone who’s held Ellie, knows she does not tolerate being held without movement for very long – and not at all if she’s upset.  This turned out to be such a special moment.  I soaked her in as I hugged her tight.  Eventually, she did fall asleep.  So deeply her arms went limp and I felt her head fall heavier on to my shoulder.  I continued to hold her and savor the sweetness a few minutes more before gently placing her in her crib.

Embracing Ellie’s uncharacteristic awake times this week has yielded special and tender memories.  Such as enjoying the lightning show all together in darkness after Ellie woke within 15 minutes of going to bed.  And watching her army crawl over to the “fire” in fascination when she woke early as I was in the midst of my mini morning meditation and yoga routine.

These moments serve as reminders to me to remain flexible whenever possible.  They often come amid what can feel like challenging times.  Forcefulness and expectations rarely yield positive experiences…especially when a baby is involved.  Keeping my heart and mind open helps me appreciate the presents of presence, melting away feelings of frustration that can creep in. 

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