Throughout the process of paring down to 300ish square feet of living space, George has routinely made a point to ask me how I’m doing. One night he added a twist and asked me what I’ve found the hardest. Initially, I came up with nothing. This lifestyle is a choice we made together. Excitedly. A choice that was prompted by moving toward a shared goal and dream rather than trying to run away from something.
Parting with physical stuff was mostly easy and abundantly refreshing. Moving away from dear, dear friends was hard, but a necessary and expected part of life on the road. What wasn’t easy was giving myself permission to be just a stay at home mom/wife/daughter/sister/friend…me. That’s something I’m still working on.
Growing up, I never once considered the prospect of being a stay at home mom. Both of my parents worked and that was a common scenario among the families I knew. With significant support and encouragement from my parents, I completed college and an internship to become a Registered Dietitian (RD). My plan from there was pretty typical – get a job, buy a house and hopefully get married and have kids. While I achieved all of those goals, it wasn’t a linear path. In fact, the sweetest parts came during, or due to, tangents.
I was listening to a podcast the other day and one of the guests, Shauna Ahern, spoke of how the best things in life usually aren’t planned. This really resonated with me. I couldn’t have planned this. Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have. I wouldn’t have been able to see past the trailer to see the beauty.
The trailer allows my family to stay together under one roof no matter where contracts send my hardworking husband. The trailer also provides much freedom in currencies of time, finance and of course, travel.
Life sure is funny. I sit here typing in a trailer – my home – and struggle to accept all the good I have. Leaning into the joy of being a stay at home mom is probably the most vulnerable thing I’ve faced.
There truly are no combination of words strong enough for me to convey my gratitude to George. Not only does his hard work make this possible, but he is unwaveringly encouraging. He consistently encourages me to dream and chase those dreams, no matter how wild or bland they may seem. He believes in me.
I’m learning to believe in myself in my new role, just as I eventually did as a college student, RD, girlfriend/wife, runner, etc. This time; however, I’m more aware than ever that worthiness is not tied up in the achievement of a label. And, just because something – whether it be a profession or hobby – served me at one time, doesn’t mean it will continue to do so in the future. Rather than relying on a label or other external validation, I feel like the best version of myself when my actions align with my values.